I didn’t know what a love language even was until “he” taught me about them…
When you’re in a relationship, communication is key! It is probably one of the most important things you have to do good in order for it to last. When you and your partner don’t communicate well, things start falling apart because one person thinks the other doesn’t understand them or the other thinks they’re not being heard and so on.
I know for years, I would just say things before they came out of my mouth and didn’t think about how he would feel because what mattered to me most at that moment, was just saying what I wanted him to hear. I didn’t think about my tone or delivery, that’s where I was wrong. Sometimes when you’re upset, you’re frustrated and you’re not thinking straight and you can say things that you don’t mean at all. Does that sound familiar?
One you notice things are getting more difficult in your relationship, and you both are repeating the same things to each other, every disagreement about how you’re each feeling, you have to take a step back and realize that there has to be a different approach here. What’s happening that you are having more difficult disagreements? The answer is, you are both doing something wrong. Yup! It’s not just you or just him, it takes 2 to have a conversation and 2 to make things work, so you got to get back on the same page to get back to a happy place in your relationship.
For us, it was becoming aware that we were not on the same page and then reading a super helpful book that really made me think about how I communicate with him and how he can communicate better with me.
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is thee book you should read! If you’re having a hard time communicating with your partner, having lots of disagreements, are not on the same page or just want to learn what your love language is, read it, as soon as you can! Without giving too much away about the book, it talks about 5 different love languages and finding the one that you are and also what your partner is. It also gives you helpful tips to try with each other.
People can have the same love language or not, and some can relate to more than one. What’s important is knowing what each others is, so you can communicate better and get back to that happy place in your relationship. Or as in the book says, “to keep the love tank full.”
For me, my love language is Words of Affirmation. Words, words, words! Yup, they’re what makes all the difference in the world to me.
I’m able to understand how he feels and what he wants, just by him using kind, encouraging words. And lets not forget the tone he uses. Tone is huge! You can say any word, but, if the tone you use is harsh, then there is no meaning in what the person is saying and you might just be hurting the other person.
I know you’re probably wondering, “What is his love language?” His is actually also Words of Affirmation! He needs to be acknowledged for everything he does for me and our family, hearing thank yous and I love yous work too.
What’s your love language? or if you don’t know, find out yours and your partners by reading the book, you can get a copy on Amazon:
Your thoughts create your life, you are in control! 